2 Week Update, More Food Choices!

I'm officially down 27 lb's after 2 weeks.  That is just crazy to me. Michael weighs 27 lb's.  I've basically lost a toddler!  Can I tell?  Yes and no.  When you look at yourself every day, it's hard to see sometimes.  But today I noticed I only have a double chin now!!  lol.  Some of my shirts are definitly getting baggy.  And today I was able to put on a pair of pants AND zip them up that I haven't been able to wear for 2 years.  That made my day! 

This week I am able to have mushy protiens added in.  I was so looking forward to having eggs again.  Got up Wednesday morning, scrambled up an egg and dug in.  Nope!  Can't do it.  The texture was not good, the taste was eh, and it sat in my stomach/pouch like a rock.  So disappointing.  So I thought well maybe it was just cooked to long, too dry.  So the next morning I tried again.  Only this time I made an over medium and then chopped it all up mixing in that yummy yolk making it nice and moist.  Took two bites and couldn't do any more.  Wanted to throw it up.  They told me that food you onced like may not be the same again, obviously this was the case!  So no more eggs.  For now anyway, maybe I'll try again someday. 

I do have other options.  Cottage cheese goes down real well.  Yogurt is good.  Fred Meyer has a brand called carb master.  It has 3g's of sugar and 4g's of carbs.  It's not the best yogurt I've ever had but it's still good.  I can try greek yogurt but haven't yet.  I do have some recipes for pates, but really..pate's are best on a cracker.  Since I would basically have to eat it plain off the spoon, I think I'll wait until next week when I can actually have pieces of meat.  I did try a new recipe today and really liked it.  For 2 servings you put a 1/4 cup ricotta cheese in a bowl, cover with 1/4 cup spaghetti sauce and skim shredded mozerella cheese.  Heat in microwave.  It's basically a noodleless lasagna.  Not bad for a change.  I used the Classico brand Vodka sauce and for a 1/2 cup serving it only has 3g's of sugar and 9g's of carbs.  And it tasted REALLY good!

So that's what I'm up to.  Healing well, not having any complications at this point.  Had post op with Surgeon yesterday and he was very pleased with how well everything is going.  I feel better everyday and am truly enjoying all the changes.

Thank you all for you thoughts and prayers through this!  Now that I'm off the drugs I'll be more coherent and try to post more.

:o)

Finally an Update!!!

Sorry it's been a bit for an update.  Due to my drug induced haze, it's been slow coming.  I've tried to keep most update by email or text but here's the story.

Surgery, last Wednesday, went really well. I was very concerned about the anesthesia as in previous surgeries I don't wake up well from it.  Oh they have no problem waking me up, it's just usually I wake up crying and or swinging.  I can get kinda combative it seems.  I let my favorite man in the world that day, the anesthesiologist, :o) know that I seem to do better if they don't put a mask on my face.  I fight that mask.  So when I did wake this time, I just had the nose cannula's in.  Thank you so much!  I had a pretty mild wake up.  Oh the typical pain/confusion that comes with surgery.  It didn't feel as though I was in recovery for very long before heading to my own room but John says it was about an hour.

My surgeon came in to check on me and let us know everything went great.  Where they attached the intestine to the pouch, aka my new stomach, he said looked great, went together great and no issues.  He felt I would have no problem with this area.  So far this appears to be true!

The goal of the nurses is to get you up and walking asap.  My goal was to sleep asap.  I won't lie, the pain was pretty intense at first.  Getting into position in bed hurt, opening my eyes hurt, my stomach was killing me!  Since it was laproscopic they blow air into you abdomen to help make more room, that and the gas from the anesthesia has to leave somehow and it ends up trying to leave through your shoulders mostly.  If you've never experienced it, it hurts!  Also, when they finish cutting, stapling, rerouting and restapling they ahve to make sure your new path has no leaks.  They blow air through that as well.  And well the only way to get rid of that air is...do I have to say it?  Let's just say it took 2 days before I could pass any of that air out and was thanking god when it finally happened.

I had some visitors early in the day and I do appreciate that even if I wasn't the best hostess. My dad and stepmom came to see me.  I do remember being in a lot of  pain at one point and asking for my dad.  John called and said she wants her dad, and my dad being the best dad there is came right away.  Yep, I will always be a daddy's girl.  John brought Carissa over to see me after school.  She knew I was going to have an operation and we knew she would need to see me to know everything was fine.  She's my sweet little helper being very careful with my belly and just cuddling with me.  Michael we chose not to bring over.  He's to young to really comprehend what's going on and I felt like it might scare him to see me hooked up to machines and tubes and in pain.  When I was home I showed him my incisions so he would know that mommy had owies and he couldn't climb on me.  His response when seeing them?  "Dat's Awesome!"  Such a boy.

By the afternoon the pain was being controlled better and I was able to start walking a bit.  It really did help to get up and around.  I spent one night in the hospital and was home by noon on Thursday.  Rarely do they keep you more than one day now.  I was keeping my water down and looked good so they sent me home.

So here I've been.  Every day the pain gets better.  I am able to use less and less pain meds.  I had some bad days in the first week.  As previously posted my first week was nothing but clear liquids and that can take a toll on you.  I really have never felt hungry, but occasionally my old stomach, or blind stomach as they now call it decides to growl.  It takes awhile before the stomach realizes it's not connected anymore and the brain shuts it off.  What I did have was "head hunger".  Your head thinks you need to eat, mostly habit driven.  Much like quitting smoking, sometimes it's not the actual addiction but the habit that came with it that makes you think you need to eat.  Do you know how hard it is to take the top off a pudding cup and NOT lick it? 
For this reason John has been great and taking care of all his and the kids meals. 

Was it worth it you ask?  I'm sure there will be days where I doubt myself, but really....Yes, Yes it was.  I am looking at the future and seeing an active future with my family.  I look foward to playing with the kids in the backyard and not sitting watching the kids in the back yard.  I have so many hopes and dreams for our future.  I am off most of my meds, my diabetes is gone at this point.  I love it!

Does it work?  Well at my week 1 weigh in I was down 15 lb's.  That was yesterday, I am down 18lb's today.  So yeah it's working.  When I have a hard day I step on the scale and see results.


   

Last Meal

So everyone I've talked to that has had this surgery has that "Last Meal".  Something you really like that you know you may not eat again for a very long time and when you do, it's gonna be wayyyyyyyy less than you used to.  John and I had it all planned out, we were taking that last meal and turning it into a night away.  We had made plans for the kids to go to my sisters, we were going to drive up to Port Orchard in Washington and stay with a good friend and his wife that has been trying to get us to come up for years.  His son recently opened a restaurant, very nice, adult only, fine dining.  This was to be my last meal!!  Well that didn't happen.  Michael got sick and ended up staying in the hospital all weekend.  If that's news to you, don't worry, he's good.  Just a nasty gastro virus. 

So that pretty much put all those weekend plans away.  We'll get there at some point, only next time rather than planning on a big juicy steak, I'll have one of those yummy scallops they serve. 

But what about that last meal?  Was hospital food going to really be it?  Uh, no.  Last night we went to the Roadhouse.  I had some yummy rolls with honey butter

 and my favorite thing in the world, steak and ribs! 

Oops, forgot to take a picture before I dug in!  Obviously I enjoyed it....



Yes I'll be able to have some steak again, yes ribs again, at a very controlled portion that is.  It was just nice to have that last time of eating without thinking about what it.  And you know what?  I'm done.  I don't need anymore.  I'm ready for food to not be the focus of my life.

The countdown is on!  I check in tomorrow at 5:30am, surgery is scheduled for 7:30am.  I took today off of work, just need that day to prepare. I'm ready! 

Pre-Op

Had my pre-op appointment today.  Met my new surgeon.  Did I mention I had a new surgeon?  So my original one, who John and I were very happy with apparently had a tendon completely dislocate from his finger during a gall bladder surgery.  So a surgeon with a finger that has been recently operated on and in a contraption is not necessarily the surgeon you want trying to operate on you.  And he's out until June.  I did have the option of waiting for him to return to surgery.  I didn't like that option.  So today we met the other surgeon.  LOVED him!  Very direct and upfront.  Great bedside manner and from all the research I've done, a very skilled surgeon.  We're happy.

Sat and signed all the consent forms, had to take a small quiz to see if I have been paying attention to everything, received lab orders for pre-surgery and went through all my medications to determine what changes will be made.  Currently I take 4 injections and 14 pills a day.  The last time I will take that many will be the night before surgery.  Immediatly after surgery my medications will change to 0 injections and 6 pills a day.  Eventually all but 3 of those pills may be gone in a matter of months.  The last 3, well we'll see.  Those are my "happy" pills and well, that's a whole different story!

The biggest batch of meds that are immediatly going away are my diabetic medications.  I'll still test my sugars to be safe for awhile, but about 99% of people that go through this never have to take their diabetes meds again.  Oh how nice that will be!!

Just 6 more days! 

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

Listening to advice from a fellow weight loss surgery support group member I decided to go to Bed Bath and Beyond and pick up some portion appropriate ramkins.  I love ramkins, they are microwave safe, oven safe.  they make great dipping sauce containers, and now, well they are my plate!!  It is nice to know that this is the size of portion I can have, put in container, take 20 minutes to eat it.  I have read and heard all about the portions, 1/4 cup at the beginning, 2 Tblsp, 2oz's.  But seeing it in my hand.....WOW!  So this is my future folks.

This is a 1/4 cup ramkin.  Look!  A Ritz cracker fits right in it!  4 to be exact.  Important note here...I can't eat said Ritz crackers, just use them for comparison.  :o)

See!  4 Ritz crackers!  So that's the size of my meals for awhile.  Well at least after the first week that is.  Eventually I'll be up to 2 of these little bad boys.  Kinda puts it in perspective huh?

1 More Week!

*running around in circles screaming*  1 more week!  1 more week!  And I really need it to get here!  I am seriously OCD weighing right now.  I have my pre-op appointment Thursday morning at 9am.  I HAVE to be under my 5% goal!  I have been sitting around that goal for weeks now.  Some days I'm a pound over and some days I'm 2-3 pounds under.  Depends on the day, the water retention and my meals on the weekends.  I wish I would have lost another 10 lb's and given myself a buffer, butIi didn't.

I went into that last meal phase.  "Hey let's have lasagna cause I won't be able to have that again, or at least for a very long time."  That phase can be dangerous.  There's a lot of "last meals" out there.

Problem is, if I go over my 5% goal, they cancel my surgery.  I am under it, 3lb's under right now.  I am just so stressed that I'm gonna bloat up and fail my weigh in on thursday!!  It's all so close it's almost unfathomable. 

So I keep getting asked questions about what I’m going to be able to eat after surgery.  Thought I would share my menu with you all here!  I know it’s crazy but everyone I have talked to that has had this surgery says it’s no problem.  So here it is, also important to note, I have strict instructions, if it’s not on this list, I CANNOT have it!!

Week 1 :  Clear liquid diet, no carbonated drinks, no caffeine, only calorie free liquids. 

Options:  Water, Crystal lite, her tea, sugar-free jell-o, sf popsicle, chicken, beef or veggie broth, propel, iced botanicals, sobe lean, diet Snapple, vitamin water, cystal lite protein water.

Goal: sip 2-3 oz per hour, slowly increaset to 4 oz per hour, goal by end of week” 48 oz fluids daily.

Week 2:  Continue with liquids.  Begin Creamy Food Phase

Options: Week 1 choices, plus:  Creamy soups, no chunks (blend or process through a strainer), cream of wheat or rice cereal, no- sugar added smooth yougurt, no fruit pieces or seeds, sugar free instant pudding.

Goal:  Fluids--continue at 48oz daily max unil MD instructs you to increase, creamy foods--2 tbsp to ¼ c, 3 times per day. STOP EATING WHEN FULL

WEEK 3: for fluids, same rules apply as previous weeks, begin Mushy Food Phase, No more creamy food except for low fat or Carbmaster yogurt

Options: do not drink any liquid with meals, stop drinking 30 min before meal and no drink for 60 minute after meals, can rinse and spit.  Mushy foods can be scambled or poached eggs, or egg substitute, cottage cheese, ricotta cheese, laughing cow cheese, high-protien yogurt, smooth pureed meat, baby meat sticks, NOT Vienna sausages, smooth meat spreads/pates.  Chew all foods thoroughly, take 20-30 minutes to eat a meal and take small bites.

Goals: increase fluids to 64oz day minimum, no gulping!!  2 tblsp to ¼ cup mushy foods three times a day.  Start bariatric vitamin supplements, 6 per day, 2 with each meal.

Week 4-6 :  same liquids, transistion to soft moist protein foods

Options:  same mushy foods as above, no longer need the meat pastes though,.  Can also add, poultry,(dark meat is moister, shellfish, fish very tender red meats, natural cheeses, tofu, tempeh, moist ground meats and thin sliced meats.

Goals: 64 oz's of fluids a day, ¼ cup protein meals three times a day

So that’s up through week 6.  If it’s not listed I can’t eat it.  Also just because it’s listed doesn’t mean I may get to eat it!  A lot of people I have talked to have said that for some reason they just can’t do red meat after surgery,   doesn’t sit well.  So really I have to see what works best for me.  I am looking forward to the shellfish though.  Crab is so soft and moist and my favorite thing in the world.  Just think I can go to dinner with hubby, he gets a steak and adds on crab legs.  Cheap dinner for me!!  Plus I figure as long as it takes to crack those legs open it will make me eat slower.  Just one of the things I have planned for my future!

Pretty much week 6 continues on for awhile, around the 4^th-5^th month they will start to add cooked vegetables back in my diet, but only about 1-2Tbsp per meal and only after eating my protein first. 

At 6 months I can add in 1-2 Tbsp of raw veggies and then fruit, but again, only after having my protein first.  They really want you to get protien in before filling up on ANYTHING else!

6-9 months I will be having 3 meals daily, ¼-1/2 cup per meal total.  At least ¼ of that meal must be protein.  Carbs are avoided until weight goal is met.  When that happens, you can progress to non-bread type of carbs by gradually adding small amounts at each meal, appropriate carbs can be potatoes, corn, peas, winter squash, brown rice, whole grain pasta, 2Tbsp is the portion size. 

9 months and beyond, avoid all bread products, including crackers for the first year after surgery.  Another side effect of this surgery is bypass patients just can’t stomach bread anymore, it’s just too hard to digest.

So that’s it.  Notice there is no milk and no sugar.  There’s a reason for that, and I will get to that one,…..NEXT!!  :o)

Waiting, waiting..

This waiting is killing me!  I am just so ready to be on with this.  3 weeks from yesterday.  People keep asking me if I'm nervous.  Honestly? I'm not!  Should I be?  Am I crazy to not be nervous?  I'm sure at some point I will be I guess.  That night before the surgery, the morning of, the roll down the hallway to surgery.  I know at some point that doubt will set it.  But for now, I'm good.  So if I start freaking out, just remind me, I'm fine!  :o) 

It's a Date!!

So I have a date!  April 13th!! 

They had their review board meeting on Thursday so after impatiently waiting for a call I called them instead Friday before lunch.  I was a little dissapointed that it was 2 weeks into April but apparently the surgeon thinks he needs some time off to take a trip with his family or some nonsense like that.  I guess he doesn't understand that I am not patient!!  :o) 

I have my preop appointment on the 7th.  I have to take a test to see how much I've been paying attention.  Also have to bring in all my meds that I currently take so they can see the size of them.  The goal is to not have to take meds after the surgery.  A large majority of people never have to take their diabetes meds after the surgery.  I have a few others though that will continue for awhile like my cholesterol pills and my oh so important happy pills as we like to call them.  So we have to make sure they are small enough for me to take.

I'm very excited!

Approval

Well since we last left off dear readers, things have changed.  After doing some minor yo-yoing I met my 5% goal!!  It took a lot of hard work and stripping in the hallway of a doctors office but I did it!  Ok so I didn't strip down completely but kinda..I went to my weekly weigh in at the office and I was 0.2lb's from my goal.  My intake person said that she wished she could write it for me but couldn't it, I replied i wish I could take off my shirt to which she replied, "Go for it!"  Only other person in the office was my nurse, male nurse I must mention, so I did it.  Whipped off my shirt and met goal.  Ok so I did have a bra on so not completely topless, and really, once you have 2 c-sections, modesty really does go out the window.

Next stage was insurance submittal.  I had all my requirements fulfilled, jsut had to get the psychiatrist to send her report and then they would submit for approval.  I found out this afternoon that I HAVE BEEN APPROVED!!!  So excited!  I am approved to have surgery between March 17th and June 17th.  Haven't gotten my date yet.  Soon.

So next step is waiting for the bariatric review board to meet and approve me as well.  The Surgeons, intake nurse, psychiatrist and administration meet once a month and review wether they feel that you will be a successful candidate and I suppose make sure they aren't wasting their time on you.  I'm really not worried about this phase.  Once that's done I will get a date, have to meet withthe surgeon again and also take a test about the surgery to see how much I have been paying attention.

Almost there!  I promise I'll keep you all updated!

Bad Bad Blogger

So I've been a bad bad blogger.  I sit down at night and think "I should blog"  then the kids need fed, Michael needs changed, if anyone wants to come and potty train for me feel free!, dinner to be made, homework, hubby, bedtime blah blah blah blah.  Basically life takes over.  I vow to get better.  It was recommended to me by someone I love, *coughJillcough* that I should set aside a day/night of the week and that's what I'm going to try to do from now on!!

I'm Still Here!

Been so busy I haven't posted lately.  Nothing much new going on.  Went to my nutrition appointment a week ago and was up 3lb's!  I hadn't been bad that week but I hadn't been good either.  Make sense?  It was right after lunch and I was feeling particularly bloaty that day, but still I gained 3lb's and I have noone to blame but myself.  And get back on track!  So I did better, cut wayyyyy down on carbs and weighed myself this week and down 5lb's!!  Very happy about that.  So 4 more to go until we can submit for insurance approval. 

Here's the thing, since I didn't lose it all by last week, I'll be looking at a March surgery now.  Not only does it depend on insurance approval, something I'm not worried about, but you also have to pass the bariatric review board.  They meet the 3rd week of the month and discuss the potential cases.  The intake coordinator, the nutritionist and the surgeons meet and decide if you are going to be a good candidate for this.  I'm not worried about this either, but the sucky part is I have to wait until the 3rd week of February until they meet next.  Not that that means I have that long to lose 4 lb's mind you, that and more is coming off!!

I'm feeling great, I have passed up many temptations that in the past I wouldn't have.  I'm using the eliptical, I still could get better at that, but I'm getting there.  I want this so much, it's not worth it to me eat crap anymore!  Oh I'm not perfect, I have a treat here and there, but I limit how much and when.  I'm really eating a lot of salads and high protiend meals.  Haven't cut carbs completely out, but reallly lowered the amount I'm taking in.

My motivation??  I have talked with Carissa about how mommy is trying to lose weight.  We've talked about how I am going to have an operation that will help mommy get skinnier too.  She's very open to it and I am careful how much I tell her.  Don't want to scare her.  She came up to me the other day, gave me a big hug and said, "Mommy, I can't wait until you are skinny and can run with me"  I can't either.

Feeling Frustrated and Hopeless

Not much happening this week.  Frustrated that I actually managed to gain 2lb's this week.  Feeling hopeless because it feels like I'm never going to get this weight off to get approved!  On the plus side I do think I've already lost at least 1 of those gained pounds, I was feeling bloated at weigh in, it was right after lunch and I normally weigh in the morning.  I'm trying to keep that in mind and not slip back.  I did make it on to the elipticle 2 nights in a row now, so that's another good thing.  Had another meeting with my nutritionist this week as well.  Got some more tips and goals.

Goal #1, spend at least 20 minutes eating a meal.  That's actually really hard, and that's with a regular plate of food!  Imagine taking 20 minutes to eat 1/4 cup of food!

Goal #2, nothing to drink 1/2 hour before and 1 hour after eating meals.  Another thing that's not so easy.  They don't want you feeling your pouch with fluids instead of protien at meals. 

That;s what I'm working on, that and my personal goal of eliminating even more carbs.  Gotta cut them out soon anyway.  Wish me luck!

Let's Talk Weight

This one’s a tough one to write for me.  Thought it was time to come clean on the whole weight issue.  Most women would never tell you what they weigh, we’re trained at an early age that this is something that we keep to ourselves!  Part of keeping my weight a secret I feel is like keeping that shame with me.  I need to rid myself of the shame in order to succeed at this!  I’ve had people, very nice all of them, tell me that I don’t need gastric bypass, I’m not big enough, no way could I meet the criteria.  I love every one of them for it.  It shows me how much my friends see me, not my weight.  But in reality, yes I am big enough, I do fit the criteria, A LOT of the criteria.

I’ve always yoyo dieted.  I think my first real fight with weight was going into my freshman year of high school.  I was a petite little girl, a normal sized little girl.  And of course like most girls never thought about my weight when I was young, who cared?  But the summer between 8^th and 9^th grade I spent a lot of time at my father’s house.  There were really no restrictions about what or when we wanted to eat and being the growing almost teenager I was, I ate!  I can’t remember how much weight I gained but it was significant.  When it was time to go back to school and I am again thrown into the crowd of teenagers who seemed so much skinnier than me, I noticed then.  So began my yoyo journey.  Like any responsible teenager does when deciding the proper diet I should do I chose the complete wrong direction and decided the best option was to quit eating.  We didn’t eat dinner at the table, didn’t eat as a family.  It was very easy to take a plate of food to my room, wait awhile and then throw it away before my mom ever saw.  I little bits here and there, drank lots of soda and I did go down about 3 sizes.  Unfortunately that little stunt also sent me straight to a doctor when my body decided it was done with my games and gave out on me.  I can’t remember how many times I fainted that morning as my parents got me to a car and took me to a doctor.  I’m sure I should have ended up in the hospital and gotten some counseling, but this was pre-eating disorders awareness and it was much easier to just tell me to eat!  So that’s what the doctor did.  Told me to eat and told my mom to push Gatorade to rehydrate me.  So there, any eating disorders I had or may encounter in the future are taken care of right? Right??

So that began my lovely yo-yoing.  I know I can pinpoint other areas in my life where the pounds came faster than other times…getting divorced….getting married again to a man who loved me for me and didn’t nag me about my weight…dealing with infertility..dealing with losing a job…going back to school…..the list goes on.  But the basic fact is, I like food, I like to eat food and I’m not great at exercising.  So here I sit at 38, I have sleep apnea and type 2 diabetes and am morbidly obese.  I am still fortunate that the rest of me is healthy! 

And here we are back to my weight!  I feel it’s time to be honest with where I am at, what I have fought to lose so far and where I am going.  My highest weight was just over a year ago.  I managed to top the scale at 327 pounds!  I wasn’t there for long but it really sucked seeing that number.  That motivated me to start a biggest loser group with friends and family and I started losing.  My start weight for the bariatric program was 318lb’s I have to lose 5% of that.  I did go back up to 320 in the first few weeks, stress, eating what I knew I couldn’t have again played a part in that but then I got more serious.  I am currently weighing at 308.5lb’s.  I have to get down to 302.1lb’s to meet my goal.  6.4lb’s left to go. 

So there it is, out in the open.  Feels good to get it off my chest.  It helps to know that I am sharing this people that support me.  Sorry this was a long one, guess I had to build up to it!

I Have Flown Across The Atlantic More Than 30 Times In The Last Year.

True or False.  This was one of my questions on my psych exam today.  Really?  What does this have to do with my psyche? 

I had my last appointment with the psychologist today, another requirement down!  I had to see her twice and then take a psychological examination.  There were 125 questions, all true or false.  Most designed to see how you feel about yourself.  T/F:  I hate looking in a mirror.  Then there were the “what is your support system” type of questions…T/F:  I have no one in my life that supports my decision.  Pretty simple easy questions.  There were a few questions thrown in there that made me laugh like, “I am not telling the truth when I answer these questions”  It made me giggle cause if I wasn’t telling the truth by then, why would I start just because it asked me?  Oh and that question popped up about 5 times.

I have to say I wasn’t really looking forward to seeing a “shrink”.  Never really been my thing.  But having done it, it wasn’t that bad.  It was kind of nice to sit and talk to someone that had no knowledge of me or my family and didn’t already have preconceived judgments.  I think I’ll definitely keep her card around in case I feel like I just need to sit and talk again.

So the good news is, I don’t appear to be crazy!!  Well she didn’t say that in those words but I gleaned it from our conversation!  She did say that she thought I was an excellent candidate and really felt I was going to do well with this surgery.  That felt good to hear. 

Not much more left to do but to lose that pesky 5%, but on a positive note…..I’m down 5lb’s this week!!WooHoo!!  6 more to go!  ( I was off 1 lb when I thought I only had 10 to lose)  Doesn’t matter!  5lb’s is awesome!  Off to hit the elliptical!!

Here I go

I'm a horrible at journaling.  I really am.  My husband bought me a really nice journal to write down this process I am embarking on and while I started out great, sat down and wrote about a half dozen pages on my experience so far, I set it down to take a break and just haven't picked it up since then,  That was about 3or 4 weeks ago.  I still want to journal, I just suck at writing.  So I decided to start a blog.  Why not?  I'm on the internet all the time!  I can type a lot faster than i can write.  So here I go!

What is this blog about you are asking?  Well it's about regaining my life!  It's somewhere where I plan on being honest with myself as well as honest with whoever might read this.  Shame and embarrassment need to go out the window if I am going to be successful at this. 

This is where I will be talking about my experience going through weight loss surgery.  I don't have it scheduled yet, still working through the process.  I am hoping that by the end of February I will have a date set! I will be having the full bariatric bypass.  I am in a great Bariatric Program that has many requirements.  I have fulfilled most of those, the only thing I have left is the 5% weight loss expected of me and one more appointment with a psychologist.  Have to make sure I'm not crazy I suppose. I have 10 more lb's to lose. 

I have never tried this blogging thing, so please bare with my while I figure all this out.  If you are friends and family and are deciding to read all my gibberish I thank you, if you don't know my and have managed to come across this, welcome.  Please be nice. 

More to come!  Hang on and enjoy the ride, I know I will!